Christmas, or as it is known in layman's term, winter break
is almost over. I must admit that this break was a well needed respite for the
entire family. 2014 was a difficult year for all of us. It began with the death
of my beloved brother Eddie, he was 49. His demons got the best of him and
although he was a college graduate with and I.Q of131 a successful computer
programmer with three children and a school teacher wife, he lost his battle to
heroin. Ironically, it wasn't heroin that ended his life; it was what heroin
took from him, his will to live. He gave up and although he was in recovery and
going regularly to the methadone clinic, he was sad beyond sad. It was more
like he was abysmally sad because he couldn't get back to his former life. It’s
a long story but in the end his girlfriend, hence his divorce from his wife,
found him in what appears to be an accidental overdose of the methadone.
Sometimes I get stuck on the word accidental.
It was really hard driving to school to tell our daughter
that her uncle had passed away. We went to the school on the pretense of
telling her we were there to pick up her broken dorm refrigerator. It was true
that it was in need of repair. When we called her to tell her we were on campus
she was annoyed and I was pleased. She was being normal. It was an
inconvenience for parents to randomly show up at school. How awkward. What I
remember most about that day was the comfort she received from her cousin
Gabriel when they coincidentally found each other outside of the dining hall.
It was a simple gesture that revealed the most love between two friends. He
simply stretched his arms and held her in his large frame until her sobs
subsided. Because I don't believe in coincidence, God provided what she needed
in that very moment. It was the outward display of the bond that I hoped for
when the two began boarding school.
Our daughter was close to her uncle and we kept no secretes
from her. She knew his issues and she saw firsthand where a life of bad choices
can lead. She loved him nonetheless. That’s a great lesson. Love in spite of
what you see, love for what you know to be true. I love the person our daughter
is becoming.
