Sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives that we cannot see what is going on with others, even in our own home. I started this blog as a means to channel my feelings about having our daughter attend boarding school. Her move was a grieving process I was not prepared for. I needed an outlet, a space where I could lament my woes and lick my wounds. So I created this blog for that purpose, to stay connected to my daughter and keep her ever present in my life.
But as I stood in the proverbial forest unaware of the trees, I finally saw my wife, my beautiful, wonderful and talented wife. This past week was a heavy week for her. As I previously mentioned, our daughter was home for a full eleven days. Each day was full of pure and unreserved joy filled with laughter, long dinners, music and late nights of TV and conversations. We moved like a well-oiled unit cohesive in all that we did. There was a constant harmony and the music we created was built from love.
Most people would say my wife is a determined self-assured woman resolute in her beliefs who never minces her words. They’re right. She has a strong nature and the best laugh you will ever hear. But what most people do not know is that she is the MOST generous person I know. She opens our home, her talents, and her wisdom to anyone in need. When she dedicates herself to a project, a person or a cause she will see it through to the very end, it’s the only way she knows how to be. If you have ever been lucky enough to be on the receiving end of her gift giving you know what I am talking about. It’s not about the gift itself, it is the thought of the gift, the way it is packaged then wrapped. The perfect matching bow and the Hallmark card attached are customized specifically for the receiver. She gets great joy from giving to others and pays close and careful attention to the details. It’s how she raises our daughter; she pays attentions to every detail of her life.
How does a mother cope with sending her child back to boarding school week after week? I’m not sure, but I’ll tell you what I know about my wife. She prays every morning on the way to work as she finds solace in her daily rosary. She places our daughter’s needs before her own. She counts the days until the weekend and bursts with delight when she receives her phone calls. She finds the strength to move forward through the tears she sheds. And more importantly, she loves our daughter more than herself. Her love is deeper than any canyon and wider than the oceans of the world.
Having our child attend boarding school was a choice we all made together. Taking our daughter back to school is an act my wife reluctantly undertakes but does with veiled courage. It’s what any mother does when the betterment of their child is a stake. Mothers do what fathers can’t. I was self-absorbed on my personal journey about boarding schools that I neglected to see a mother who had to contend with all her emotions and continue to balance my life, our daughter’s life, our home, her job, the bills, the laundry, etc., etc., etc. The constant churning in her mind would make most people’s head explode and although she gets frustrated and exhausted at times, she makes it look easy. My life is easy because my wife makes it so. She works hard for me and our daughter. There’s not much thinking I have to do and I am eternally grateful for that.
Her struggle to not have her daughter home takes a significant toll on her. But she marches on enduring the weight of our family on her shoulders creating miracles along the way. She’s a corporate manager, a cook; costume designer, event planner, computer wizard, designs invitations, makes window treatments - I could go on and on. I understand now that while I can get used to the idea of boarding school, mothers never let go.
Honey, I want you to know that I love you, everything about you. You are a gift that I will always treasure. You being in my life has given me life. Thank you for all that you do for us, the seen and unseen.
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