Play Around

My daughter recently auditioned for a role in the upcoming school production of The Three Penny Opera. Ugg.  I never really heard of the play so I decided to do some research and what I found was interesting. Well not really interesting but more like complicated and uneasy. Like most people my research was done on the computer and according to Wikipedia it challenges “conventional thinking”, which is why I guess the play was chosen in the first place.

The story is about Mack the Knife, a hustler who marries Polly Peachum only after a five day courtship. Polly is the daughter of the master hustler who is displeased with his daughter’s decision. The father wants to have Mack the Knife hanged because of the interruption in his plans to create a better life for his daughter. The story is sprinkled with dicey characters and spicy dancing set in the seedy part of Victorian London.

When I visited with my daughter this past weekend she told me of the story and the song she sang in her audition. The discord on my face was enough for her to tell me that I should let mother to see the play and only upon her approval should I attend the second night. I guess mother is more of a conventional thinker than I am.

Being a conventional thinker from my understanding, has a negative connotation. It means that you lack creativity and cannot think beyond traditional ideas and usually conform to what already exists instead of the potential for different. Simply said conventional thinkers don’t like to upset the apple cart. But sometimes, especially at my age, being conventional is not a bad thing.

After my research I felt, and still do, that The Three Penny Opera is too much for high school students no matter how progressive the thinking. I do believe that it is a bit permissive and should only left to adults, those 18 and older. Having children in adult roles seems to be the new norm. Just look at the reality shows and the way musicians dress. It is acceptable to continuously challenge others. Interestingly I agree.

Last year I sat through the school production of Goodnight Desdemona Good Morning Juliet. It was well acted and the stage scenery was exceptional, worthy of Broadway, or at least maybe off Broadway. The students performed their roles with conviction to the character they were responsible for portraying. It was obvious that they had worked hard and thoroughly enjoyed being on stage. The problem I had was the vulgarity they were asked to display. I know vulgarity is subjective especially when it comes to art. I know for sure I was not the only adult in the audience that felt a bit uncomfortable with the language and gestures “acted out” in the name of art. But really, did the part call for this type of acting? There are several ways to convey a message without the tasteless display of one self-groping publicly on stage.  But I guess that is what the non-conventional thinker does, provoke emotion to express their point of view, to carry the message with full vigor so that you fully understand the sentiment without question.

Consequently, the problem befalls upon the conventional thinker.  Because of course it is only the conventionalist who has the problem. I mean really everyone else is laughing, why aren’t you?

There is a dichotomy of sorts brewing in me.

On one side I believe that the freedom of expression, the full expression of who you are sexually, spiritually and artistically should be applauded and encouraged. To suppress ones ideas and belief is a form of control and bondage. I believe that you are born into your sexuality and as children you should express and develop into the person you are meant to become. On the flip side, I do not believe that children should take on adult roles for any situation. A parent should not leave children to raise themselves or make grown up decisions. We are parents first, not friends. Nor should parents live vicariously through the child.  I want my daughter to be a non-conventional thinker. I want her to feel comfortable in her body and her choices. More importantly, I want her to express herself the way she wants, not the way she is told. That includes school plays.

My point is, express yourself, just do it with style and class. Be Audrey Hepburn!!

The play is scheduled for December. I guess more to come.

Newbie on Board

Today I spoke with a single mother whose only child wants to go to Boarding School. I was given her name by my co-worker. I was surprised at my eagerness to speak with her so I dialed the number without any agenda, just the desire to share my thoughts and impart my boarding school wisdom on this newbie. I felt prepared to answer almost any question presented and felt that my personal experience was all she needed to hear to make her feel better.

There is a funny thing that happens to people who share similar events. Things that seemed large and obscure now appear to have definition and can be described in ways that only the person who the same exact personal event can only understand.

I listened to Karen tell me how remarkable her daughter was doing in her current school and her involvement in community events and the strides she was taking to ensure her success not just now, but for her future. She explained how she wanted her daughter to go to boarding school but struggled with the idea of having her leave home. Familiar pangs began to unsettle in my heart for her. Her words were familiar and I sat quiet reminded of what I convinced myself of three years ago. In order to have extraordinary children you have to present them with extraordinary opportunities.

Karen was standing at alarming precipice she had never considered. She asked herself the same questions I had asked myself. AM I CRAZY!!!  She is my only child, how can I possible let her go? Alone in the world to fend for herself, without me she cried.  I listen to Karen lament about the tuition which for a single mother is an exorbitant amount of money. Hell, it’s an exorbitant amount of money for my wife and I. Especially now that my wife has lost her job. But that’s another story.  

Karen wasn’t looking for advice. She was searching for someone who had gone through what she was about to go through. She was searching for someone to tell the where the landmines were placed. To show her how to navigate the ship she already knew had left the port in her daughters head. There was not turning back, there was no convincing her that there were other schools.  Attending Boarding School I now believe is a calling, a vocation to commit to a new way of life that demands the best from you. Those who hear the calling and accept the challenge are ready to be transformed into the person they want and are meant to become in the world. They may not get exactly everything, but they are at least willing to try.

I will remind Karen in our future conversation, and I am sure there will be plenty, that her child is special. That she made a conscious choice to do something different and that it was her child’s spirit that is leading her in the direction she is meant to go.  Her job, like mine, and as I have mentioned numerous times before, is to be the guide and the constant in her life.

Round Three

It has been a long while since I last published on this blog. So much has changed in my life that I can actually see the lasting effects. I’m different. I know that circumstances in our lives change us from what we once were to what we eventually become. This isn’t a new school of thought, it simply is.

This year has weighed heavy on me and my wife, which began with the death of my older brother Eddie. I thought I was his savior but my superpowers failed me. My enabling love for him was my Kryptonite, the more I tried the more I couldn’t.

This past June marked exactly one year since my wife has been unemployed. We’ve all been there in one form or another I realize that it’s just our turn right now. So we stay strong and move forward the best way we know how, with God first our daughter second the rest will follow and fall into place. It’s a struggle and as we stretch out our arms onto God we grow weary but not defeated. Pray for us.

Once again the dining room table is strewn with Adrianna’s school supplies of clothes, computer, bedding and the like. The routine is familiar and we’ve become wiser on what necessities really mean as evidence by the limited bags packed. She is ready and as we prepare the drop her off, the pang in our hearts can still be felt. I guess I was wrong in thinking that it goes away. It never does, the pang is softer, but it never goes away.

It’s her junior year and we’ve painstakingly talked about the importance of this year. It is the snapshot colleges will have to determine if she meets their criteria for acceptance. No pressure really. But I am okay for whatever happens. If I have learned one thing in 2014 it’s that you have to be ready for the change that life will inevitably throw your way.